Growing up we had rotating services at the Catholic High School every 30 minutes. We'd go, grab a bulletin (proof of attendance), sit in the back, hang till communion and then if we were feeling like heathens would cut out of the oh so long 30 minute service. I repeat. 30 minutes.
Enter Orthodox. I didnt realize it at the time but we were spoiled when we lived in NJ/PA. A solid hour mass and off to breakfast. (At a Diner. Where people are supposed to go for breakfast!! What the heck is it with no Diner's in NC? Get with the program people!!!) I digress...
In NJ/PA, if Father got a little too wordy during the homily you could count on someone (older) to cough to give him the sign to wrap it up. And he did. (My favorite homily's were when he used stories from Country songs to prove his Biblical point. Best.Priest.Ever.)
I'm sure you've heard. Things are slower in the south. On Sundays we leave at 9:30am for church. Church usually concludes at around 12:15. Before church, there's no food if you're over 5. If you're 5 you get some yogurt before we leave for church to try to prevent the Hunger Games from starting in the middle of church.
This week... that yogurt wasn't enough. When your child is whispering 15 minutes into mass asking when communion is because she's hungry... Times are TOUGH.
K: Mom, when is communion.
Me: not for a while yet
K: *groans* I'm so hungry. I need a little piece of Pascha. Something Mom!!
Me: SShhhhh... pay attention.
*3 minutes of coloring*
K: Mom, we didn't make the chocolate covered strawberries last night.
Me: sshhhh, I know.
K: Are we going to make them today?
Me: Yes. Now shhhh and pay attention.
*3 minutes of coloring*
K: Mom can we go to the firehouse place for breakfast?
Me: (now she's got me going) I was thinking Panera.
K: *groans*
Me: Okay hush. Listen to Father.
*1 minute of coloring*
K: mom, is the Priest going to ask my name again?
Me: Probably.
K: can you tell him for me?
Me: sure. ssshhhhhh
*2 minutes of coloring*
K: I'm bored.
Me: You wouldn't be if you were listening. ssshhhhh
*she starts kissing up my arm. kissing my fingers. kissing my cheek.*
K: Oh mom I just love you so much.
Me: I love you too. Now listen to Jesus and hush!!!!
We get back from Communion and Stephen asks Katherine if she grabbed any extra Pascha for him. *Dear Gawd... there's two of them.*
Nope, Mommy says we can only take one. *sigh* I wish we could take more.
I pray. A lot. Mostly that I don't lose my head in church.
I think next weekend I'll feed her a bagel AND yogurt before church.
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