Green beans are her peas

Another blog. Hm. Fancy that.

Tonight I was repaid for the trouble I caused in my youth with eating vegetables. I knew it would happen. I just didn't realize it would happen so soon!!

You see, for those that don't know, vegetables... Any sort, and especially those of a green variety, were (read: are) my nemesis. I dislike them. Even the lettuce in my salad is closer to white than green. Nutritional value? I'll take a multi-vitamin, thanks.

Growing up my mom never made me eat things I didn't like. This was awesome for me. I still remain very grateful for that. Of course it meant that if I didn't like it I didn't eat... but I could live with that for not having to eat my veggies. I don't remember nights I was hungry because I didn't eat my vegetables but I DOOOOO remember nights that I HAD to eat my veggies. Grandmom and my mother were NOT on the same page here. Oh nooooo... Nor was AC. And given I spent many a weekend, summer, etc. at my grandmother's house when I was growing up... The veggie thing, well: It traumatized me.

As a kid I had a PERFECT way of getting rid of the veggies and still have dessert. It was devious. But I tell ya, it worked. Until a certain cousin, who shall remain nameless but I'm sure you can figure out who!!, decided to try to mimic my secret evil plot and ruined it due to poor execution.

At Grandmom's we used to eat in the dining room. Generally at the bar. (What good irish catholic family doesn't have a bar in their house?!) The adults, however, would eat in the kitchen. Seems a little backwards but this is how we did things. Well, with the grown ups in another room, and napkins a plenty for the messy children, I would put my peas, lima beans, asparagus, whatever green ailment was on my plate, into a napkin and promptly march to the bathroom. They would meet their demise in the toilet. FLUSSHHHED!!! Bu-bye peas. Not gonna get this kid.

That worked for a while. A long while. Until aforementioned cousin decided to try the same thing with whatever veggie he (oops gave part of it away) decided he didn't like. EXCEPT he didn't flush them down the toilet. Nooooo, he put them in the trashcan in the hallway. Seriously. Dude. SMH. We were caught. He ratted me out in an instant. The kid cracked like a twig. From then on napkins were no longer allowed at the table. Nor were trips to the bathroom without inspection of hands. Again I say: Seriously, dude?! The hallway trashcan?! WTC.

At that point since I couldn't flush the veggies I was forced to eat them. It was horrid. Actually forced may be an overstatement. I was bribed. But then, fibbed to. Straight up mislead. We would be told no dessert unless we finished our veggies. Mkay. Most nights - don't care. Keep your veggies and your tasty cake. Until the bribery of a jello pudding pop? What did you say? It's the last one? The girl that finishes her veggies first gets the coveted pop? The stare down began. This cousin could have cared less about the pudding pop. But she remained in it, I think because we were both just bullheaded. So, who would finish our peas first. Me. I assure you. It WILL be me. Peas, fortunately, are a vegetable that can be swallowed whole. So I did. The whole serving. whole. With gulps of iced tea. And do you know what I find out?! There were TWO pudding pops left. FARCE!!!!! FIBBERS!!! This was likely 25 years ago and I remember it like yesterday. Thanks for the trauma AC & Grandmom. Thanks for the trauma.

So now we get to today. And guess what I do to K. I'm one of THOSE moms who now says to my child what my grandmother used to say to me... Eat your veggies or you don't get dessert. Tonight it was a dark chocolate covered pumpkin peep. K WANNNNTED that peep. She had FIVE (cut) green beans on her plate. Five. not 45. FIVE. I turn my head to finish putting dinner on the table and what does girlfriend do? Puts each of the green beans back in the bowl on the table. When I turn around and ask her where they are, she looks away (won't make eye contact) and says "I don't know."

Who was the victor tonight? Me. She ate all five green beans and had her pumpkin peep. =)

My grandmother, grandfather and mother are all hysterically laughing in heaven, I have no doubt. Yes, yes. You win. A child just like me.

xo
D